It is not uncommon these days (late XXth century, early XXIst) to hear strident voices -- every time I've heard it they've been women; I'm just sayin' -- pointing out the obvious fact, the universally accepted notion, that it is not appropriate for grown men to be showering or sleeping with boys who are not their sons. (Here, we're talking about "sleeping with" as a rest period, not "sleeping with" as a euphemism.) Some even believe it is "common knowledge" that even fathers and sons cannot share a bed or shower.
I am not suggesting that men and unrelated boys "should" sleep or shower together -- these shared activities aren't my cup of Ovaltine® -- only that if and when they do, it cannot be assumed that something more than rest or cleanliness is behind it all.
The classic example of this was the shrill self-righteous voices of The View co-hosts who, as we know, speak for Moms everywhere. When part of a telephone interview between sports broadcaster Bob Costas and the then-alleged child-abuser Jerry Sandusky was played on The View (ABC, November 2011), the co-hosts focused on Sandusky's explanation that he was ":just horsing around" with the boy in the Penn State locker room shower. Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck fired back, as it were, saying that even that would be unacceptable. Star Jones, a former prosecutor (as well as a former co-host on The View) commenting on NBC's Today, said that man plus boy plus shower equals handcuffs plus jail plus court -- then added, "And that's the way it should be."
Similar comments were made after the infamous interview with Michael Jackson, conducted by British journalist Martin Bashir and made into the 2003 documentary Living With Michael Jackson, in which both Jackson and the boy sitting next to him described their practice of sharing the same bed. Female outrage filled the airwaves, the common thread being the "common knowledge" that bed-sharing between men and boys was inappropriate, a sure indication of paedophilia. It must be reiterated: Men were not making these claims, at least none that I heard, and nothing was said about women and girls in similar situations.
So, what about this assumption of present-day society? It is, of course, the prerogative of a society to set its rules, even to change them from one era to the next, but is the prohibition against "intergenerational showering" or men and boys sleeping together common knowledge? Is it, as these commentators imply, an age-old assumption that such behaviour is a sure sign of paedophilia?
My guess is that these attitudes are recent, accepted less widely than the media would have us believe, and silly.
They certainly aren't historical. This list gathers instances in film, television and literature that portray all types of people sleeping together, showing affection of many kinds, without even a hint of the kind of sexuality that obsesses today's post-feminist, post-literate, and post-human world.
Society, as noted, can make any rules it wants. What it cannot, must not, do is deny or distort history. You be the judge.
[NOTE: not all of these examples are in the distant past; some were produced
in the last decade or two. Note, also, that some examples are male-female,
though not many.]
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Batman No.84 (comic book, June 1954)
Batman and Robin (Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson when not caped and crusading)
were not gay, according to the writers and creators, though their living
together in Bruce Wayne's mansion - Dick Grayson was Bruce Wayne's 'youthful
ward' beginning a few years into the Batman saga - with no women around has
given rise to relentless speculation and between-the-lines readings over the
decades. In Batman No.84, published for June 1954, they begin the story
"Ten Nights of Fear" waking up in bed together, beginning to plan their day.
[Click here to see the story's opening panel.]
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Boulder Dam (film, 1936)
Ann Vangarick (Patricia Ellis) is a singer in a nightclub. There she
meets "Joe Callahan", who is actually Rusty Noonan (Ross Alexander),
a former mechanic who killed his foreman in an argument. Ann meets
him in her nightclub, unaware of his past, and takes him to her home
to help him get back on his feet. At home, her two brothers Stanley
(George Breakston, about 13) and Peter (Ronnie Cosbey about 10) are
in bed, sleeping. She wakes up the older boy and moves him to the couch,
"so Joe here can can sleep with Pete". Joe says he can sleep on the
couch, but Ann says, "You're going to get a real bed to sleep in
tonight." Ann gives "Joe" a nightgown, and he gets in bed with Pete.
Next morning, Pete and Ann are having breakfast. Pete says,
"Say Ann, next time you bring home a guy, pick out a younger one,
will ya?" "How young?", Ann asks. Pete: "Young enough so he don't
grow whiskers. Every time that gink rolled over last night,
he sandpapered my neck with his chin." When Joe comes to breakfast,
he says "How are ya?" to Pete. Pete replies, "OK, pal."
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Britten's Children (BBC documentary, 2004)
This film about the life and music of Benjamin Britten (1913-1976) includes
interviews with several of the boys who enjoyed his company and, to a man,
felt great fondness towards their "Ben", even as they were
speaking to the filmmaker some 30 years after Britten's death. The film
actor David Hemmings (1941-2003), a boy soprano at the time, was Britten's
choice to originate the role of Miles in his 1954 opera, The Turn of the
Screw. In his interview for the film, Hemmings spells out the
relationship in no uncertain terms: "I absolutely adored him. I didn't
fancy him. I wouldn't have gone to . . . well, I did go to bed with him, but
I didn't go to bed with him in that way."
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The Courtship of Eddie's Father (ABC, 1969-1972)
"A Very Different Drummer", 13 October 1971
Eddie (Brandon Cruz) and Eddie's Father (Bill Bixby) spend the night with Uncle Norman
(James Komack) in his new, mod-decorated apartment, where Norman has bought a water bed.
After assembling and filling the new bed, Eddie falls asleep in it, and Norman and Tom get
into the bed on either side of Eddie. Nobody has tried a water bed before, and Eddie's
Father and (especially) Norman find it difficult to lie still amid the waves. At one
point, Norman rolls over and completely covers Eddie, prompting Eddie's Father to ask,
"Where's Eddie?" Finally, everyone gets to sleep, only to have the waterbed
(predictably - it's a TV sitcom, after all!) begin to leak. Everyone spends the rest of
the night in Norman's hammocks. (Note that Uncle Norman is not a member of the Corbett
family; Eddie calls him "Uncle" because he is such a close family friend, and
Eddie's godfather. He is also Eddie's Father's work colleague, and [in real life] the
series' producer.)
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Eight is Enough (ABC, 1977-1981)
"You Won't Have Nicholas to Kick Around Any More", 29 November 1978
Nicholas Bradford (Adam Rich) runs away from home to find his friend Sam (Will Geer,
who appeared in previous episodes,) but learns that Sam has died. Nicholas finds
shelter with Sam's acquaintance, Joe Simons (Jack Elam), a senior on welfare,
and the boy begins calling him "grandpa".
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Fanny och Alexander [Fanny and Alexander] (film, 1982)
This, the last theatrical film of the great Swedish director Ingmar Bergman, has
no scene of adult and child sleeping together, but the practice is explicitly
referenced in the dialogue, and apparently was not uncommon in bourgeois Swedish
society at the turn of the XXth century. The scene is the Ekdahl family apartments
in Uppsala, on Christmas Eve 1907. After a festive dinner and long evening, the
children are put to bed, and one of the Ekdahl adult sons has taken aside one of
the servants, the young woman Maj (Pernilla Wallgren) to arrange another installment
in an ongoing affair of which the man's wife is completely aware, and apparently
accepts. Maj is particularly close to the Ekdahl children, and comes to their room
after they've gone to bed to show 10-year-old Alexander Ekdahl (Bertil Guve) the
dress that her lover's wife has given her as a Christmas present. She whispers to
Alexander, "Tonight you can't sleep in Maj's bed because Maj will have
a visitor. [Alexander abruptly turns away from her in a jealous fit. She kisses
him tenderly on the ear.] And I can't just have any number of men in my bed.
[Again, she kisses his ear.] But you're Maj's sweetheart, you know that."
[On last kiss on the ear, and she turns out the light and leaves.]
[English translation from Criterion Blu-Ray Edition subtitles.]
In the commentary to the Criterion Edition home video of this film, recorded by
film historian Peter Cowie in 2004, he notes that, "It's obviously a platonic
relationship, but it's a nice way of showing how, in a family like this, the bond
between the children and the servants would be more exciting than it would with
their own parents, who were rather distant figures. Maj can express the physical
affection that the parents never could, for the sake of decorum."
Cowie goes on to personalise this scene to director Ingmar Bergman's (1918-2007)
own early life: "Maj is probably based on Lalle, the maid whom Bergman adored when
he was a small boy staying with his grandmother in Uppsala."
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Five Little Peppers at Home (film, 1940)
Five Little Peppers in Trouble (film, 1940)
Out West With the Peppers (film, 1940)
Martin, Mr King's Butler (Rex Evans) sleeps in same bed with Joey Pepper (Tommy
Bond) and David Pepper (Bobby Larson), but he's not happy about it.
[from imdb.com/title/tt0032473 (user review by lugonian)]: Aside from Rex
Evans resuming his natural role of a gentleman's gentleman, working and
residing at the Pepper home, he gets to take part in several amusing
scenes, one being the traditional attempt of trying to get a good night's
sleep while resting between the two younger Pepper boys in bed. This
time it's not due to their tossing and turning.]
[Click here for illustration.]
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Fixer Dugan (film, 1939)
Charlie "Fixer" Dugan (Lee Tracy) lets Terry O'Connell (Virginia
Weidler) sleep in his circus "bunk" after her mother is killed.
(This is a scene that wouldn't get filmed today, I'd bet.)
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Huckleberry Finn (film, 1919)
Huck (Lewis Sargent) sleeps with Jim (George Reed) in a small "hut"
on their raft while they're on the run.
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Lies My Father Told Me (film, 1975)
David Herman (Jeffrey Lynas) lives with his grandfather Zaida (Yossi Yadin)
They sleep in the same bed. (The story takes place in Montreal in the 1920s.)
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M*A*S*H
"Kim", 20 October 1973
Kim (Edgar Miller), a displaced Korean boy about 5 years old, shows up at
the 4077th, and the staff takes care of him until his mother arrives.
Overnight, he sleeps with Radar and his (Radar's) ever-present teddy bear.
[Click here for illustration.]
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Malcolm in the Middle
"Convention", 22 November 2000
A babysitter in her late teens (Melody Perkins as Patty) lets Dewey (Erik Per
Sullivan) sleep with her when he pretends to be scared at night. (Note that we
said "pretends". In the show, it's clear that Dewey knows exactly
what's going on!)
"Houseboat", 11 November 2001
Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan) shares bed with Stevie Kenarban's father Abe
(Gary Anthony Williams) in the cramped houseboat on vacation.
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Marvin and Tige (film, 1982)
Tige Jackson (Gibran Brown) is suicidal after his mother dies, and Marvin Stewart
(John Cassavetes) finds him on a park bench just in time. Marvin takes him in,
though as the caretaker relationship develops into a true friendship, sometimes
Tige finds himself taking care of Marvin, who is no stranger to alcohol. The
apartment is run-down and small, and the two sleep in the same bed. Marvin
realises that staying with an old drunk is no life for the boy in the long run,
and is finally able to find Tige's biological father. Tige, by this time, is
reluctant to leave (and perhaps lose) another caretaker in his life, but decides
to give his "real" father a chance. At the end of the film, he visits
Marvin, who asks him how things are going. Tige says it's pretty good:
"I like him and all . . . it's just that I don't get to see him that much. I
have to go to school, he have to go to work, and I don't even get to sleep with
him at night like I did with you . . ."
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Mister Peepers (NBC, 1952-1955)
"The Puppies", 25 October 1953
Mr Peepers (Wally Cox) is going to take his Nature Club on a day-trip to a farm, and
Peepers' five or six-year-old neighbor, Arnold (Bobby Alford) is keen to go along. On the trip,
Arnold falls in love with the puppies the farmer has for sale, and Peepers buys one for the kid as
an early birthday present. Unfortunately, Arnold's mother (Ruth White as Mrs Murchison) thinks Arnold
is too young to take care of a puppy, and she is too busy, so Peepers volunteers to take charge
of the dog. Night comes, and the dog (inevitably) jumps up on the bed, and Peepers makes him
comfortable. Not long after, Arnold comes in and also climbs up on the bed, under the covers,
next to the puppy, and they all go happily to sleep. (We know from dialogue the next morning
that everyone slept through the night without incident, except that Peepers woke up about
3am, because "the puppy has cold paws".)
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My Secret Identity (CTV [Canada]. 1988-1991)
"The Great Indoors", 11 March 1991
Stephanie Clements (Wanda Cannon) has decided to sell the family cabin in the
woods, so the family, along with Kirk Stevens (Christopher Bolton) and neighbor
Dr Benjamin Jeffcoate (Derek McGrath) drive up to give the property a final cleaning
before the buyers arrive. During their stay, Andrew (Jerry O'Connell) and Kirk sleep
on the floor with Dr Jeffcoate, who has become not only Andrew's mentor, but close
personal friend. They are seen in the morning, basically sleeping in a single pile,
one teenager on either side of Jeffcoate, and each with an arm across his body. The
image is quite intimate, and as they wake up, no-one expresses even a hint of
embarrassment (nor should they). Just to keep things 'kosher', the episode writers
have Andrew and Dr Jeffcoate discuss Jeffcoate's affection for Andrew's mother
before they go to sleep.
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Our Gang Series (shorts, Hal Roach, 1922-1938; MGM, 1938-1944)
"Choo Choo", 7 March 1932
Our Gang are playing around the local railway station when a train
carrrying orphans to a new home pulls in, and the orphans have to
change trains. The orphans have planned to 'escape' from their
keepers, so they convince the Gang to change clothes with them so they
can enjoy the luxuries of train travel. A local Travelers Aid worker
(Dell Henderson) - an effeminate man with a bad toupée, who makes it
clear he would never want to be a father - is saddled with the job of
getting the kids back to where they're supposed to be, and to do so,
the Gang have to travel overnight with the man. While most of the
kids double up in the sleeper-car bunks, toddler Spanky beds down with
the unlucky chaperon, who is annoyed anyway at having to herd a group of
"brats" (as he calls them) on a long train journey.
(Of course, they never get to sleep, but they are in the same
bed for the night, where Spanky mercilessly abuses the unfortunate man.)
"Night 'n' Gales", 24 July 1937
The Gang - Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Spanky & Porky -- get into bed with Darla's father,
Mr Hood (Johnny Arthur) to sleep over because of a storm. (Ultimately, Mr Hood
can't take the noise/commotion, so he gets out and leaves the bed to the boys.)
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The Rag Man (1925)
Tim Kelly (Jackie Coogan) runs away when his orphanage burns down, and is taken
in by Max Ginsberg (Max Davidson), a junk dealer with rheumatism. They begin a
partnership and close friendship, including living together and sleeping in the
same bed.
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The Reivers [Yellow Winton Flyer](film, 1969)
Lucius McCaslin (Mitch Vogel) is 11 when his buddy Boon Hogganbeck (Steve McQueen)
and his distant cousin Ned McCaslin (Rupert Crosse) take him with them to Memphis
for a four-day trip in Granddad Boss's new Yellow Winton Flyer, one of the first
automobiles the town has ever seen. While in Memphis, Ned swaps the car for a
horse on the condition that they will get the car back if the horse wins a race.
They train the horse at a farm owned by Uncle Possum (Juano Hernandez), but the
corrupt sheriff puts Boon and Ned in jail (temporarily) the night before the
race. Lucius stays with Uncle Possum, a negro (so called in the film, and at that
time in America), despite the sheriff's objection to a "white boy stayin' with
a family of niggers" (his words, not mine). Uncle Possum has Lucius say his
prayers, then pulls back the blankets and tells the boy, "hop in". As
they are getting settled, Lucius seems scared of the sounds outside, including
an owl -- "a big one, by his voice", according to Uncle Possum. The
old man says "You can get closer if you wants to". Lucius smiles broadly,
seemingly relieved, and snuggles next to Uncle Possum for the night.
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Ritsar bez bronya [Knight Without Armour](film, Bulgaria, 1965)
Vanyo (Oleg Kovachev, about 9) sleeps with his uncle (Apostol Karamitev).
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Second Best (1994)
James (Chris Cleary Miles) is an orphan. Graham Holt (William Hurt) is a lonely
postal worker in rural England, who decides to adopt a son. With the assistance
of social worker Debbie (Jane Horrocks), James is placed with Graham, who
appreciates the home, but makes it clear that he adores his biological father,
who is in prison. (Graham, therefore, is "second best", which is where
the film gets its title.) On an outing, the two share a sleeping bag, and
generally get on rather well.
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Tough Guy [aka The Getaway] (1936)
Joe Calerno (Joseph Calleia) gets stuck with Freddie (Jackie Cooper), a
pre-teen runaway who witnesses a heist after he stows away in the back of
the crook's truck. Reluctant (to say the least) at first, the crook
warms to the boy and Duke, his dog, but ends up getting caught after a
massive manhunt, while the boy is still missing. Calerno offers to find
the boy, then return to custody voluntarily, but the Chief refuses.
Joe [speaking to Freddie's father]: You think I took that kid, don't
you? Well, I didn't. I didn't even want him. I tried to make him go
back to you, but he wouldn't go. What do you know about that, huh?
A swell papa you are! Not even lettin' him have a dog. Why, that
kid was happier with me than he ever was with you. Yeah, with me,
a crook. Say, if I wasn't so crazy about that kid, do you think
I'd be standing here, answering my own questions? . . . Why, that
kid was nuts about me, and I was the same about him. Gee, what a
great time we had. We swam together, fished together. Why, he slept
right beside me. Me, and him, and the dog.
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Uncle Joe Shannon (1978)
Joe Shannon (Burt Young) takes orphan Robbie (Doug McKeon) under his wing and
into his small apartment, where they sleep in the same bed.
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The Voyage of the Mimi (PBS, 1984)
"All Aboard", Episode 1, 1984
C.T. Granville (Ben Affleck) is a boy of about 12, going along as a deck hand for
a scientific expedition on his grandfather's boat, christened "Mimi". The quarters
are such that C.T. and Arthur Spencer (Mark Graham), a High School student and
computer expert, must sleep in the same bunk.
Examples of fathers and (non-infant) sons in same bed
=====================================================
The Courtship of Eddie's Father (ABC, 1969-1972)
Widower Tom Corbett (Bill Bixby) and his son Eddie (Brandon Cruz) are about as good
friends as a father and son can be. They do everything together -- eating, hiking,
swimming, arguing, confiding, and occasionally sleeping in the same bed. Their
friendship, over and above their kinship, is actually the central feature of the
show, as indicated in the title song itself, "People let me tell you 'bout my
best friend . . ."
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The Yearling (film, 1946)
Jody Baxter (Claude Jarman Jr) and his Pa, Penny Baxter (Gregory Peck), have patched
up a dog that's been wounded by a bear, and Pa decides it's best to bed the dog
down for the night in Jody's room.
Jody: You'd best sleep with me, Pa.
Pa: That's what I'm figurin' on doin', if you'll have me.
Jody: I'll have you, Pa.
Ma (Jane Wyman as Orry Baxter, from the other room): Now don't you go
visitin' all night. You get to sleep.
Pa: Yes, Ma.
(They continue, whispering, discussing the plusses and minuses of hunting bears; then . . .)
Pa: You cold, son?
Jody: I reckon, Pa.
Pa: Well, move over a mite, I'll warm you.
It doesn't get any more sentimental than this. Even the photography is
portrait-quality. [Click here for frame clip.]
Real-Life Examples
==================
Shortly after Whitney Houston's death in February 2012, Darlene Love (born 1941),
a family friend and lifelong mentor for Houston (born 1963), recounted their
first meeting in an interview on the Today Show. She was visiting the family home,
and commented (in her words), "Where I gonna sleep?" According to Love,
Whitney, who was 8 years old, immediately suggested her room. "I slept in her bed",
Love noted. (Love would have been about 30 at the time.) There was no negative
reaction from the interviewer.
--Today (NBC), 13 February 2012