About a Boy (NBC, 2014-2015)
"The Talk" (25 March 2014)
Will (David Walton) can never remember how old Marcus (Benjamin Stockham) is, and one
day refers to him as nine (9). Marcus resonds, with a phrase heard more than once
in these episodes, "Why can you never remember that?" From the trivial to
the momentous, Marcus, in full Freudian mode, later refers to the backyard game
they're playing as "'Dadminton' . . . I mean 'Badminton'", and Will freaks.
Even later, when Marcus shares that the extent of his sexual education (which he knows was
bogus) was that babies are made when a cloud high-fives a rainbow during a fairy-dust
storm, Will realises that something has GOT to be done. Cut to Marcus looking dumbfounded
sitting on the couch after Will has apparently told him the whole story. "Are you OK?"
Will asks. Marcus gradually answers, "I know what that means now. All those playground jokes,
It makes sense now. It's like a veil has been lifted. I need to go process this in a cool, dry
place." To say that Marcus is a sheltered, mamma's-boy is an understatement. Will's role
in helping him overcome this is a fundamental theme of this whole series.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The Bernie Mac Show (Fox, 2001-2006)
"The Talk" (26 April 2004)
Nephew Jordan (Jeremy Suarez) is suddenly interested in bra and panties advertisements
and Uncle Bernie (Bernie Mac) decides he is too young at 11 to be contemplating sex. He does
not, however, want to have "The Talk" with Jordan. Instead, he sits Jordan down
and asks him what he already knows. Jordan tells the story, which is illustrated onscreen
in comic-book-style animation. It turns out that Jordan has only part of the story, leaving
out the actual intercourse. Bernie is relieved, and in the next scene, discusses the situation
with his friend, Hugh Hefner (the real Hef), who tells him, "That's not really how you
have sex." Bernie assures Hef that he knows that, but that Jordan is too young for the
full story. "His ignorance is my bliss," he tells Hef, who warns him that sexual
ignorance can lead to all sorts of problems. Bernie is undeterred, and offers to let Jordan
have a party, to avoid letting him go to someone else's party where Bernie won't be able to
control the activities. Some of the kids get bored with Bernie's piñata, so they set up
a "Seven Minutes in Heaven" game. Jordan joins in, and, of course, Bernie walks in
and disrupts the proceedings, not realising that Jordan actually got some 'first base' action.
Bernie brags to the audience that his party diversion was successful, and he still hasn't had
to give Jordan "The Talk", and he never will: "Let his wife explain it to him."
Unfortunately, when Jordan learns that the girl he kissed has been throwing up constantly
since the party, his (equally-clueless) school pals convince him that he got the girl pregnant,
and that her vomiting is morning sickness. Bernie finally realises that it is time for "The
Talk". He convinces Jordan that the girl isn't carrying his baby, then begins to tell him
the whole story. The scene skips to the end (the on-screen title tells us, "forty-eight seconds
later"), where Jordan's reaction says it all: "You do that? . . . ewww . . . nasty . . .
I'm gonna throw up; I'm never gonna do that!"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dream On (HBO, 1990-1996)
"Sex and the Single Father" (22 July 1990)
Martin Tupper (Brian Benben) learns from his ex-wife Judith (Wendie Malick) that their son
Jeremy (Chris Demetral) is smitten with his teacher, Miss Brodsky (Susan Lentini). Judith
convinces her reluctant ex that it is his duty to have "the talk" with Jeremy.
When he awkwardly attempts to bring up the subject, Jeremy calmly assures his Dad that
he is already familiar with "intercourse and fallopian tubes 'n stuff. I know this."
Martin seems relieved, then asks his son if he has any questions. Naturally (it is a sitcom,
after all!), Jeremy does have questions: "What's 'cunny-lingus'? . . . Do you
masturbate? What's bestiality? Blow job? And, uh, smegma?" Martin is overwhelmed, and ends
the conversation (for the moment) with, "Why don't we just start with, 'When a man and woman
love each other very much.'" (The format of this show is that Martin, a fan of old movies
on TV, visualises his reactions in black-and-white film clips, which we see onscreen as if
viewing Martin's inner thoughts. For example, when Judith first confronts Martin with the
need to talk to Jeremy, we see a quick clip of Jack Benny yelling, "yipe!" Martin's 'visions'
as Jeremy is asking his questions are mostly men falling down, fainting, or jumping out
of windows. It is a very effective and original storytelling device.) Later, after Martin
goes to the school to see Miss Brodsky - then goes to dinner with her - Jeremy finds out,
and is incensed. "Did you have 'cunny-lingus'?" "No," he protests, "we had Chinese.
Dinner. That's all, I swear." "You stink!" Jeremy shoots back, then locks himself
in the bedroom. After some tense discussions and Martin's promise that he's not going to see
Miss Brodsky again, Jeremy asks, "How come you didn't have sex with her?" Martin is determined
to be honest this time around, and tells his son, "I guess I didn't have sex with her because
we just met, and I didn't want to rush into anything, and have it be bad." Jeremy is stunned:
"Sex can be bad?" And slowly the problem gets worked out (within the alotted
30-minute sitcom time-slot, as usual).
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fresh Off the Boat (ABC, 2015-2020)
"Help Unwanted" (27 September 2019)
When youngest Huang Evan (Ian Chen) suddenly leaves the room each time he sees soccer star
Brandi Chastain on TV (the show is sest in the 1990s), his brothers and Dad Louis (Randall Park)
assume he has gotten "his first case of the tingles", which Eddie delicately explains
as "'little Evan' is finally talking to 'big Evan'." Even though they believe it is
too early for him to be maturing in this way, they agree it is time for "The Talk".
For the rest of the show, the family members, individually and in groups, try to bring up
the subject, but each time they wimp out, because Evan is just too cute - and still plays
with Beanie Babies. At one point, Louis gets the idea that maybe they need to get "a woman's
perspective", so he and Eddie talk with Grandma Huang (Lucille Soong). After hearing her
presentation, Louis admits, "I don't feel comfortable saying any of that to Evan." Eddie
comments, "I should have taken notes,", while Louis observes, "I'm just trying to erase
the visuals . . . and the sound effects were totally unnecessary." When they finally find
the courage to share their wisdom with Evan, he blithely tells them he already knew all that.
He explains that when he was confused about what was going on inside him, "I went to the library
and microfiched like a fool." He goes on to offer Louis and Eddie his new-found expertise,
if they're interested. At the library he learned that Louis is at an age where his "man-parts
begin to fail,", and Eddie is approaching his sexual peak - and it's all downhill from there!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Lockie Leonard (Australian Children's Television Foundation, 2007-2010)
"Lockie Chickens Out" (21 June 2007)
Lockie's Mum (Briony Williams) interrupts his bath time - to his extreme embarrassment - to
inform him that she feels his increasingly obvious puberty is cause to have "the chat", and
she gives him the "little green book" to get him started. Lockie (Sean Keenan) hides the book under
his mattress and tries to forget about it, unsuccessfully.
"A Musical Moment" (14 July 2010)
Now that Phillip (Corey McKernan) is changing in all the usual places, one day he shares with his
family that he's having 'problems'. Sarge and Mum (Rhys Muldoon and Briony Williams, respectively)
agree that it is time for "the chat" but disagree about who will deliver it. Mum relies
on the fact that it was she who handled Lockie's indoctrination a few years back (Series 1), and
informs Sarge that when it is Blob's turn (Blob is their infant daughter), she will deal with it
then. She hands Sarge the infamous "little green book", and leaves him to it. He dithers
and avoids for some time, finally simply giving Phillip the book to read. That night, before going
to sleep, Phillip takes a look, and shares with Lockie his horror at what he sees: "Have you seen
what's on page 56?" The standoff continues until Phillip lets it be known that the 'problem' he
was facing was that his sport activites were getting in the way of his Scientific pursuits. The
sport situation gets resolved, while the 'birds and bees' issue is (probably) left for a future episode.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Moone Boy (Sky One, 2012-2015)
"Dark Side of the Moone" (28 September 2012)
When Martin (David Rawle) is surprised by his reactions to sexy women on television, he turns
first to his mate Padraic (Ian O'Reilly) ("haven't a clue!"), then to his uncle, Danny (Steve
Wall, which angers his Dad, Liam Peter McDonald, who sees his brother as a rival.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Not Only . . . But Also . . . (BBC, 1965-1970)
"Series 2, Episode 1" (15 January 1966)
Roger (Dudley Moore) enters an upper-class drawing room, where his father (Peter Cook), after
asking how old he is (coming up to eighteen) decides it is time for "a bit of a chat"
about "the method whereby you came to be brought about." It is difficult to
tell if the father is uncomfortable or just old-fashioned, but it takes him an inordinate
amount of time to get to the point. (The audience, of course, sees it coming almost immediately.)
When he does get to describing the process itself, he falls back on a pathetic metaphor: "In order
for you to be brought about, it was necessary for your mother and I to do something. In particular,
it was necessary for your mother . . . to sit on a chair . . . which I had recently vacated, and which
was still warm from my body. And then, something very mysterious, rather wonderful and beautiful
happened and, sure enough, four years later, you were born." The youth thanks his father
for telling him about this, then adds, "One thing actually slightly alarms me: I was sitting in
this very chair yesterday, Sir, and I vacated it, and the cat sat on it while it was still warm.
Should we have it destroyed?" "It's a lovely chair, Roger," says the father.
The youth replies, somewhat earnestly, "The cat, Sir." The father only compounds his
evasion by informing his son, "This thing of which I speak can only happen between two people
who are married. And you're not married." "Not yet, anyway, Sir," replies his son.
"Not to the cat, in any case," concludes his father.
--------------------------------------------------------------
That '70s Show (FOX, 1998-2006)
"What Is and What Should Never Be" (20 October 2002)
In a humourous reversal, the son is the one giving the father "The Talk" here.
Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp) has told the family that she's pregnant. Red (Kurtwood Smith) is stunned
that at their age, with two adult children, they will start again with a newborn.
Kitty: Oh, what a day. I'm so happy! I'm just gonna go and throw up. [she leaves the room]
Red: I just don't understand how this could have happened.
Eric (Topher Grace): Hmmm. Maybe it's about time we had "The Talk". Y'see, when a boy
loves a girl . . .
Hyde (Danny Masterson): Doesn't have to love her.
Eric: That's true. Anyhoo, the boy's sexual organ . . .
Red: Hey! Shut it, dumbass.
Eric: That kid's gonna love it here.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Vacation (film, 2015)
On a road trip (the basic premise of the film), Rusty Griswold (Ed Helms) stumbles upon his
older son James (Skyler Gisondo) chatting up Adena (Catherine Missal), whose family is also
out on a road trip. Rusty remembers that he never had "The Talk" with James, so
he brings up the subject boldly, much to James's discomfort. James tries to assure his Dad
that he already knows the subject, so Dad settles with just asking James if he has any
questions. (This, as we've seen, is one of the common 'formulas' in plots like these.)
James comes up with a doozie, of course. He tells his Dad that he heard some kids at
school talking about 'rim jobs', and he wonders what that is. Since Rusty obviously
doesn't know and even more obviously wants to appear that he does, he tells James that
it's a particular kind of kiss. (You have to see the film to get the whole, convoluted
explanation.) James processes the new information, then the next time he sees Adena, he
suggests that they engage in a 'rim job'. And the hilarity ensues (or not, depending on
your point of view).
--------------------------------------------------------------
The War at Home (Fox, 2005-07)
"No Weddings and a Funeral" (1 February 2007)
In a quite unusual twist, Dave Gold (Michael Rapaport) decides he must give "the safe-sex talk"
to Kenny (Rami Malek), who is living at the Gold house after his father threw him out for
announcing that he is gay. Kenny is about to have his first gay date, so Dave sits him
down and, with the same awkwardness as most other TV fathers in "the talk", begins
the conversation in metaphors and vague references. Finally, Kenny sees what's happening: "Oh my God,
are you trying to talk to me about safe sex?" Dave says yes, and assures Kenny there is
"nothing to feel weird about." The scene then shifts to one of the show's trademarks,
the characters speaking to the camera (audience) in a blank room, expressing their thoughts.
In this case, it's a split screen, Dave on the left, Kenny on the right; they both say, in
unison, "This is the most uncomfortable moment of my entire life."
--------------------------------------------------------------
You Can't Do That on Television (Nickelodeon, 1979-2004)
"Sexual Equality" (7 March 1981)
Dad (Les Lye as Lance Prevort) is watching television when Brodie (Brodie Osome) comes in.
Dad is glad to see him: "Oh, Brodie, Brodie, come on, yeah, sit down, sit down. Brodie, I want
to talk to you about the birds and the bees, and where you come from." Brodie is interested:
"Yeah, Dad. Where do I come from?" Suddenly, Dad sounds disappointed: "Awww, I was
gonna ask you that question." [This interchange is interesting, because Brodie is black, while
Les Lye, playing his Dad, is white. For the entire run of this show (1971-2004), young people of
various races played the parts of Lance's - and later also Valerie's (Abby Hagyard) - children with
virtually no mention nor comment about the racial differences, nor 'excuses' that the children
might be adopted. In fact, racial references regarding the various actors/characters were almost
completely absent from all the scripts and situations portrayed.]
--------------------------------------------------------------
The Zack Files (Fox, 2000-02)
"The Zack Show" (7 April 2002)
Zack (Robert Clark) finds out that he's the star of a 24/7 reality TV show that is only
broadcast in an alternate dimension, and that his ratings are slipping. He is advised
that he can boost his audience by engaging in heart-to-heart discussions at home, so he
asks his Dad (Jeff Clarke) for a 'birds and bees' talk. Dad fumbles around with various
excuses, finally agreeing to The Talk "maybe soon; I'm just gonna need a little more time,
OK?". At the end of the episode, when Zack, Cam (Jake Epstein) and Spencer (Michael Seater)
are together, Dad is finally ready - with an outline, and a set of charts with a title
page that says, "You & Your Body - The Adolescent Years", along with a medical diagram
of the human body.
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------