This list is pure frivolity - or would be, if the practice of debasing the
[English] language weren't so widespread, fueled by the explosive accelerant
of social media. Good luck, Western World, trying to get that monkey off your
lazy back.

So, my new honors course: The Demise of Language, 101

Like, enjoy!

NOTE: in pairs of words, e.g., xxx v. yyy, the correct form usually is first,
followed by the incorrect version(s).
BTW, "v." means "versus".
Oh yes, "BTW" means "by the way". 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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shades of meaning
-----------------

odor, smell, stink, stench, fragrance



blatant misuse
--------------

[out of an] abundance of precaution (instead of . . . abundance of caution)
  (spoken by Donald Trump Jr in November 2020, as to why he is
   self-quarantining after being diagnosed with coronavirus)

as best we can v. as best as we can

be advised that . . . v. be advise that . . .

bow and arrow v. bowing arrow

past participle of 'broadcast' is 'broadcast'
  only in U.S. is 'broadcasted' acceptable; so,
  'the show will be broadcasted' is wrong for the King to say
  (source: dictionary.cambridge.org/ )

calm, cool & collective (instead of calm, cool & collected)
  heard on news broadcast (person being interviewed), 2022-07-05

cord (e.g., umbilical, nylon, , , , of wood) v. chord (e.g., E major 7th)

go out on a whim (instead of go out on a limb)

kow-tow v. cow-tie (!) used as a verb, spoken by then-Arizona state politician
  Kyrsten Sinema in a 2010 speech (seen in 2022)

elite ("Bobby Bowden is one of the most elite college football coaches . . ."
       from: https://www.godtube.com/news/bobby-bowden-quotes-bio-and-top-20-quotes.html )

etc. v. ect. (I use &c. to preserve snobbishness)

exacerbated v. exasperated

existential (meaning 'extraordinary', 'serious', as in "it could become
  an existential threat.")

median (statistics term) v. medium

in memorium (also in memoria)

iconic

moot point v. mute point

nothing is further than the truth (actually spoken in a TV interview
  by former vice president Mike Pence, 2 July 2023, CBS Sunday Morning)

out-of-body experience v. outer body experience

overhalls v. overalls

palette v. pallet v. palate

quashed v. squashed

recalcitrant v. recalcitant (heard in narration for TV Biblical story 'documentary', 2024-02-22)

remunerated v. renumerated

unique (with comparative or superlative, e.g., "the most unique . . .")

vanish point v. vantage point (as in "from this vanish point . . .")

venturing out v. adventuring out

waning v. weaning (the latter used for 'waning' in a TV news caption 2024-01)



Conundrum ideas/statements (plus variations and malapropisms)
-------------------------------------------------------------       

affidavit v. affidavid

all of a sudden v. all o' the sudden [or even 'all the sudden']

all you need v. alls you need

anecdotal v. antidotal (as in 'antidotal reports', heard today, 2020-03-18,
  used by a medical doctor, expert on the president's task force to deal
  with the current viral pandemic)

apprised v. appraised

basis (singular) v. bases (used for singular)
  (see also crisis v. crises)

beside v. besides

careening v. careering

casket v. coffin

ceremonial v. ceremonious

civil war

classic v. classical

clothes v. clothing

complex v. complicated

complimentary v. complementary

crevice v. crevass

crisis (singular) v. crises (used for singular)
  (see also basis v. bases)

crisp v. crispy

criterion v. criteria
    (for singular usage, as in "The most important criteria is . . .")

damage (destruction) v. damages (monetary losses)

data v. datum (for singular usage)
  also data ('datta') v. day-ta (pronunciation)

de-ligitimize v. de-legitimate (as in, 'He is trying to de-legitimate the election')

Democrat v. Democratic (v. democratic)

dereliction v. derelection

elder (eldest) v. older (oldest)

eLECtoral v. elecTORal (and occasionally, incorrectly, 'electorial')

emigration v. immigration (emigrant [outgoing] v. immigrant [incoming])

eminent v. imminent v. immanent

epilectic v. epileptic

equality v. equity

ever since v. every since

every so often v. ever so often

farther v. further

forbears v. forbearers

gambit v. gamut

gauntlet (glove worn by a Mediaeval knight) v. gantlet (flogging ordeal)
  "throwing down the gauntlet" was a challenge to fight;
  running the gantlet was to get flogged between two lines of military men
  (2021-07-28: I had to look it up)

the Greek Theatre (Los Angeles, California, USA) isn't really one

hallowed v. hollowed (as, 'on this hollowed ground . . .')

historic v. historical

homogenous v. homogeneous

hone in v. horn in

human v. humane
  (similar structure 'moral v. morale' rarely confused!)

incidents v. incidences

indices v. indexes

intravenous v. intravenious

intrauterine v. interuterine (the latter is simply incorrect, impossible)

ironic v. ironical (cf. Kenneth Clark's use of latter in Civilisation)

irregardless v. regardless

Islamic v. Islamist

It's cold as Hell.

on Labor Day (U.S.) most people don't work

Lifts to lower levels (UK typical)

live v. alive

lonely v. lonesome

mischievous v. mischevious

nauseous v. nauseated

Never say never. 
  (variant: Never make a absolute statement. It'll
   get you into trouble every single time! --CPJones, c.1957)

Noël Coward wasn't

numeric v. numerical

nutritional v. nutritious

objective case pronouns: "Grammar is hard for she and I."

orient (oneself) v. orientate (oneself)
  disoriented v. disorientated

a party of one

peacefully v. peaceably

phenomena v. phenomenon (for singular usage)

precedent v. precedence

premier v. premiere

pretty ugly

preventive v. preventative

processes v. process-EEz

proportionally v. proportionately

prostate v. prostrate
  ("He's been suffering from prostrate trouble."
   "She's lying prostate on the grass.")

resilience v. resiliency

Robert Young isn't (nor is Andrew).

row to hoe v. road to hoe

scapegoat v. escapegoat (yes, really!)

sleek v. slick

speaks (talks) v. speaks out (TV news jargon)

St Peter's square isn't.

stamp [as with feet] v. stomp

statistics v. statistical

systemic v. systematic

underlying [health conditions] v. underlining [health conditions]

uniformly v. uniformally

water landing

wheel-barrow v. wheel-barrel

wreak[ed] havoc v. wreck[ed] havoc (this entry is listed as a
  spelling difference, though it also sometimes represents a
  pronunciation difference)



pronunciation (pro-noun-ci-a-tion!) and writing
[NOTE: differences between countries, e.g., Brit v. Amerikan,
are not included here; too easy]
-----------------------------------------------        

AD-ult v. a-DULT

advance tickets available v. advanced tickets available
  [this was not just pronounced wrong, it was written onscreen in a promo
  on the morning news (KTLA)]

athletes v. ath-a-letes

ap-PLIC-a-ble v. APP-lic-a-ble

"automatic mode" 
  The fact is, is that . . . (e.g., The fact is, is that no-one is above
     the law.)
  It appears as though, that . . . (e.g., It appears as though, that the
     truth is finally coming out.)
  . . . the reason being, is . . . (e.g., Congress is dysfunctional, the
     reason being, is that members are rigidly partisan.) 
  also the use of "actually", "literally", "evidently"
    and other 'hamburger helper' words

AD-dress v. ad-DRESS

aks v. ask [in fairness, this variation is a feature of Ebonics, no longer
  popular to talk about, but still relevant IMHO]

all you ever do v. alls you ever do

ampitheatre v. amphitheatre

anyway[s]

aunt (ont) v. aunt (ant)

bess-tiality (bestiality) v. beasty-ality

boo-kay v. bo-kay (bouquet)

BROADway (New York City) v. Broad-Way (the historically
  correct pronunciation, almost as two words: Broad Way)

CarRIBbean v. CaribBEan

cavalry v. calvary (the reverse mistake - 'cavalry' when one
  means 'Calvary' - is NEVER made)

cliff v. clift

coo-pon (coupon) v. cyoo-pon

contacted v. contracted [when used for the meaning of the other,
  e.g., I contracted the office, or We contacted the virus)

could have / would have v. could of / would of
  (e.g., she could of been a star if she would of had a better agent)

counsel v. council

counsel (referring to a country's diplomat) v. consul

ky-otes (coyotes) v. ky-oh-tees

cummerbund v. cumberbun[d]
  [in the XXIst century, heard only during High School Prom season]

day-ta v. datta

daylight saving time v. daylight savings time

dee-tails v. d'tails

divisive: di-VY-sive v. di-VISS-ive

domino effect v. dominal effect

drowned v. drownded
  (also drown v. drownd, as in "She might drownd in that river."

ecstatic v. estatic

either (ee-ther v. eye-ther) and neither (nee-ther v. nye-ther)

Empire STATE Building (as if it's state government) v.
  EMPIRE State Building (a private building named for
  New York's nickname, "The Empire State")

envelope v. ON-velope (v. occasional en-VEL-up)

et cetera v. excetera

EX-qui-site v. ex-QUIS-ite

familiar v. fermiliar

February v. Febuary

French - incorrect use of gender
  (feminine form used incorrectly most often; in other words, the
  feminine form is commonly thought to be the only correct form)
  masseuse v. masseur
  fiancée v. fiancé
  blonde v. blond
  née v. ne

Gesundheit v. Kazoontite

girls v. grils (common mistake for school-age kids)

got to v. gotta

hurricane v. hurric'n v. harricane v. harric'n

influentual v. influential

inordinate v. inordinant

insidious v. insiduous

IN-te-gral v. in-TEG-ral

int'resting v. in-ter-es-ting
  [NOTE: I once read a study that correlated the second of these variations -
   in-ter-es-ting - with lower intelligence, or lower educational level,
   or something lower; I hope I'm not misrepresenting the study, and I
   hope I don't have it backwards - int'resting, isn't it?] 

jaguar v. jag-yu-ar v. jagwire

jewelry v. jew-le-ry

jubilant v. jubulant (or jubyulant)

ju-ve-null (juvenile) v. joo-ve-nyle

Ku Klux Klan v. Klu Klux Klan

LA-boratory v. la-BOR-atory v. LAB'ratory

lackadasical v. laxadasical

length v. len'th

levers v. leevers

lots of v. lotsa

markedly [different] v. markably [different]

memento(s)  v. momento(s)

modern v. modren

Moss-cow v. Mos-ko [Moscow]

mul-tee- v. mul-tye- (e.g., multi-day event)

nuclear v. nucular

ofTen v. of'en

ombudsman v. omsbud[s]man

orangutan v. orangutang

organ-ih-zation v. organ-eye-zation

other v. 'nother (as in "it's a whole 'nother issue")

pact v. pac[k] ("the parties signed a pac[k]")

particular v. partic'lar

perception v. preception

percolate v. percyolate

perseverance v. perserverance

potential v. potentual

perspiration v. prespiration

picture v. pitchur

realtors v. reel-a-tors

recognize v. reconize

regimen v. regiment

roof v. ruhf

root v. ruht (rhymes with soot)

route: root v. rowt (rhymes with pout)

Satan v. Saint-an

sem-eye (for semi) v. sem-eee
  (NOTE: for 18-wheel trucks, it's always "sem-eye" for some reason)

siren v. sireen

smorgasbord v. schmorgasbord

Sophomore v. Southmore

statistics v. satistics

steen v. styne (as in Bernstein, Feinstein, Einstein [Styne],
  or Weinstein, Arnstein [Steen])
  (person with the name decides pronunciation;
  "steen" is considered an "Americanization")
  (background: https://classicalmusicindy.org/how-to-pronounce-my-name/
  Leonard Bernstein grew up and began his career as Bern-Steen, but
  changed his preference as his fame grew - Bern-Styne [the article
  was written by Michael Silverstein, who seems to prefer
  Silver-Steen - though this isn't completely clear])

stole v. stold

strength v. stren'th

string v. shtring

surrup [syrup] v. sir-rup

subsidiaries v. subsideraries

temperature v. temperture

theatre [theater] v. thee-AY-ter

turpentine v. turpentime

ultimatum v. altimatum

umBRELLa v. UMbrella (v. umbuRELLa)

undermine v. undermined (as in 'they tried to undermined the results')

Wimbledon v. Wimbleton

women (singular, as in "there was one women in the room") v. woman
  (this is commonly seen in college-age writing)



'sounds like . . .'
-------------------

across v. acrosst (or, perhaps, accrossed)

[ant]arctic v. [ant]artic

aspersions v. dispersions (as in 'casting dispersions', &c.)

curb v. curve (as in "we should try to curve attacks on civilians")

effeminate v. effeminant

escape(d) v. excape(d)

especially v. expecially

espresso v. expresso

grocery (pronounced: gross'ry) v. groshery

[all] intents and purposes v. [all] intensive purposes

itinerant v. itinerate

laundromat v. laundrymat

library v. libary

medley v. medelly/medally

mistakenly v. mistakingly

pundits v. pundints

semitic v. semetic/simetic/sametic

sprayed or neutered v. spayed or neutered
  (spoken by Sam Rubin, notorious for malaprops without self-correcting
  nor correcting by his colleagues), entertainment 'anchor' for KTLA
  [Channel 5, Los Angeles), in August 2023, when reporting the death
  of TV personality Bob Barker, who always used the phrase [correctly]
  in signing off his broadcasts)

strickly v. strictly

[white] supremacist v. [white] supremist

surreptitiously v. serreptitiously 

surrogate v. serragate

surprise v. suprise (surprisingly v. suprisingly)

tenets v. tenents

uncharted v. unchartered (as in unchartered territory)

Valentines v. Valentimes

vociferous(ly) v. voiciferous(ly)

wingspan v. wingspand



intentional joking malapropisms
-------------------------------

not necescelery (not necessarily)
  [with thanks to Benny Hill]



-------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
collected by Gerald Jones, Ph.D.
as a diversion during retirement, while I watch
the rest of the world go down the toilet;
no copyright intended